This is another thing I wrote for an online contest. And…I don’t have much to say about it.
“You look bored.”
Why do people always assume that? Why does even my best friend ask that if I’m bored when I’m sitting quietly at the edge of the conversation?
No, I’m not bored. I’m listening. I’m thinking. I have nothing to add to the conversation that’s worth saying, so I’m not saying anything. I’m not bored.
“Are you ignoring me?”
No, I am not ignoring you. I am thinking about my response. I’m not going to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. You just asked me a question, and I am going to answer. I just need more than half a second to do so.
“I don’t get why you’re so tired. We haven’t even done anything.”
Yes, we have done something. We have talked, we have been around people. Just being around someone so full of energy is draining. I’m not physically tired, I’m mentally tired. Those are very different.
I can see the looks you give me when I say I need a day at home.
No, it’s not that I don’t want to be around you, it’s that I don’t want to be around anyone. I want to be at home with my books, my Wifi, my movies. I want to time to recharge. Did you know it takes an Introvert 3 full days to recharge from 1 full day of stimulation? Well, it’s true. And I often don’t get that much.
“No, it wouldn’t be awkward to come, people bring friends all the time!”
Yes, it would be awkward. I’m not going to go and barge into a conversation. I’m not going to go and join that game of soccer without being invited. And when you leave me behind to go and talk to friends, I know you just assume I’ll be like you, that I’ll go and introduce myself to someone, begin a conversation. But I won’t. It just doesn’t feel comfortable.
“You don’t have many friends.”
That’s because I don’t need fifteen. I’ve got the two close friends, the two normal friends, the group of kids that’s part of our history study group. My cousins who are as close as brother and sister. That’s good enough for me.
I’m not antisocial. I’m not stuck-up. I’m not snobbish, or rude, or purposely ignoring you. I’m introverted. I would much rather have hours of heartfelt conversation with one or two people than a half hour of useless chatter with fifteen people. I would much rather curl up on the couch with a movie or read my favorite book in a tree than go to a party of people I don’t know.
Sometimes it’s hard being an introvert. I take things personally that might not be personal. I get tired of the looks when I say I want a few days at home. And yet, I love it, too. There’s no feeling better than falling into bed with the awesome new book I’m reading, that coming home after a long trip, or spending all day in complete, utter quiet while everyone else it out.
I’m an introvert.
You might as well get used to it, because that’s how I’ll always be.