FRIENDS, I TELL YA. You tell them all about that super awesome book they should totally read, and they seem super excited about it. And, then, a whole month later, you ask if they’ve read the book yet. They say no, they haven’t had the time yet.
So you check in after another two months. Than another month. And another. And before you know it, a year has passed and they have not read that book. Which is VERY frustrating because you just know they would adore that book.
Now, before you run off screaming in frustration, there are certain things you can do to make sure that read that book.
STEP ONE: CASUALLY MENTION IT IN CONVERSATIONS
Friend: “So, what’s new?”
You: “I just wrote a review for -book-!”
STEP TWO: CASUALLY REFERENCE IT IN CONVERSATIONS
Friend: “So, I’ve been craving chocolate ice cream lately.”
You: “You know -main character- from -book- loves chocolate ice cream.”
STEP THREE: START LEAVING IT WHERE THEY’LL SEE IT
Friend: “Who left -book- on my bed?”
You: *with a pointed look* “I did.”
STEP FOUR: START RECOMMENDING IT TO OTHER PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THEM
Other Friend: “I need something new to read. D’you have any recommendations?”
You: “Yeah, totally read -book- by -author-. It’s amazing, and totally worth the read. You’ll be sucked right in.
If this four steps do not work, it is time to start getting passive aggressive.
STEP FIVE: START SAYING HOW SAD IT IS THAT THERE’S NO ONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK WITH YOU
You: “Oh, I WISH one of my FRIENDS had read -book- so we could TALK ABOUT IT and FANGIRL TOGETHER.”
STEP SIX: START LEAVING IT IN EVEN MORE PLACES
Friend: “Why the heck did someone put -book- in the fridge?”
SEVEN: BUY THEM STUFF RELATING TO THE BOOK
You: “I bought you a tee-shirt!”
Friend: “Thanks? But I don’t get it.”
You: “It’s from -book-.”
If these seven steps haven’t worked, it is time to get actually aggressive.
STEP EIGHT: HIT THEM WITH IT
Friend: “OW! Stop hitting me with the book!”
You: “I will when you read it!”
STEP NINE: LEAVE IT IN THE MOST OBVIOUS PLACE
Friend: “WHY DID SOMEONE PUT -book- ON MY BOOKSHELF? I DON’T EVEN OWN IT.”
You: *crazed giggling*
STEP TEN: BUY IT FOR THEM
You: “Happy birthday!”
Friend: “FINE! I’ll READ IT. HAPPY?”
And then, they finally read it….
And you were right all along. They loved it.