books · Uncategorized

The Difference Between a Bookish Conversation and an Arguement

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We’ve all seen it happen at one point or another, or had it happen to us. Someone posts a review on Goodreads (normally either a five star review or a one star review), and suddenly, the comments are flooding in. Some are people agreeing. Some are people disagreeing, but politely. And some are yelling out HERE IS MY OPINION AND WHY YOURS IS TOTALLY WRONG.

And, basically, whatever the reviewer does, it’s the wrong thing. They don’t say anything, and they’re ignoring the poster. They stand up for themselves, and they’re bullying the poster off the thread. And if they go so far as to delete a mean comment (GASP!), they’re practically black-listed, especially if the poster is a popular reviewer.

And, yes, there are some people who are just looking to pick fights. But I do think that some of these people just don’t know that they’re attempting to have an argument, they’re just trying to state their opinions. Admittedly, in not that great of a way, but bookworms like to talk about books. And that is what they’re trying to do.

But it is good to know who’s trying to argue and who’s just trying to have a conversation, even if they have a differing opinion.

AND SO, THE DIFFERENCE

With arguing:

-People tend to be way more aggressive

-They tend to want you to change your opinion, or admit you’re wrong

-They will tend to call your opinion wrong flat-out, and if not flat-out, it still tends to be very clear in their wording.

-If you point out something that they might have done “wrong” (AKA, called your opinion wrong/bad), they will often get very defensive and try to make you out as the bad guy.

-They might start mentioning how you’re insulting the author because you gave the book a bad review.

-If you eventually stop replying to them, they will tend to get very hostile, and start bad-mouthing you, even if it’s just to the other people commenting/standing up for you.

With conversing:

-There’s less of a feeling of someone trying to prove you wrong

-They tend to be calmer, and nicer about their opinion

-They tend not to attempt to try to change your opinion on the book

-They will apologize if they accidentally offend or insult you or your opinion. Because that was it was; an accident.

So, blogglings, did I miss anything? Have you ever had to deal with something like this? If so, how did you handle it?

Also! I am currently writing a novel with a totally awesome cowriter, and the first chapter was posted on Wattpad on Monday. It’s basically the world’s strangest mix of fantasy and sci-fi and dystopian, and you should totally go and read it, if I do say so myself. It’s called Zephyr. Go. //pushes

Happy Wednesday,

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3 thoughts on “The Difference Between a Bookish Conversation and an Arguement

  1. Omg this is very applicable to my life right now. 😂 This week I checked my goodreads to have a whole bunch of hate comments. AGHGH. I mean, last year they REALLY got to me and I was super upset about it. This year? I’m mostly just letting them roll off. I can never decide whether to respond or just ignore. I confess I do delete sometimes. I answered one (I thought I was civil!) and the commenter came back to have another go at me, so I was like “Nopity nope” and just deleted both comments. I mean, sure they might hate me. But hopefully that’s just one person hating me vs my mental health. 😂 AHEM. SO YEAH.Gah.
    I think it’s really good to disagree and have discussions about it…but like you said — nicely! Non-aggressively! And I like to temper my “well I hated this book that you loved” sort of comments with “but I’m super glad you liked it!” because it’s GOOD when people like books!! And if it’s vice versa and they HATE a book I love, then why comment? I honestly just skip most of the time. 😛 Save everyone the angst.

    Like

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