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Hogwarts Interhouse Relationships & How They Could Take Over the World

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Happy Fantastic Beasts day!

I, sadly, cannot see it today, partly because of school, and partly because I…uh…forgot, and therefor can’t get tickets. I, am, however, immersed in Harry Potter, thanks to a wedding cake that’s being made that’s something like three feet long and is a Hogwarts replica. I am not allowed to touch it. I do, however, have to make ten tons of cake to make this wedding cake.

The brides are both former students, (who may have even met through this program), and someone said that they’re total relationship goals. That led to someone saying “Well, they’re a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff, what do you expect?”, which led to a conversation about which Hogwarts houses are likely to marry.

Thanks to my somewhat meandering train of thought, that conversation led to this tweet.

Which got this reply.

Which led to a whole host of blog-post related fun things, and after asking permission to use this idea (which was granted), here’s this blog post.

So thanks, Tues, for sparking this idea!

And while I will be having a section on how various houses would take over the world, I am first just going to cover the various personality traits of all the houses, as well as the friendships between them. Then we get to fun, taking over the world stuff.

Of course, all of the things listed here don’t apply to everyone in the house, ect. ect. ect.

Gryffindor

Arguably the most beloved house, thanks to it hosting the Golden Trio. It also seems to be the largest house, judging by how many students were mentioned to be in the various years.

PERSONALITY TRAITS OF GRYFFINDOR

  • An extroverted house.
  • Is brave, yes, but often that bravery borders on stupidity. They’ll face down a dark wizard, but they’ll also think it would be really cool to try to jump from one moving staircase to another.
  • You’ll find the most enthusiastic sports fans in this house, both muggle and wizard sports alike. There’s a reason why the bleachers are full of red and gold.
  • They’re often viewed as snobbish by other houses, because their house pride will pretty often involve them ignoring everyone outside of Gryffindor. This isn’t intentional, in most cases. Gryffindors just tend to form very fast, solid friendships within their own houses, and put all their energy into the upkeep of those friendships, instead of expending some to make friends in other houses.
  • They’re also the house most desperate to prove that they deserve to be in that house.They will do things that might have never done otherwise, in order to prove that they are brave and that they deserve to be in Gryffindor.
  • Perfectly willing to get physically violent if you insult them.
  • You’ll never met a warmer, louder, more enthusiastic bunch then the Gryffindors. Which is why they tend to horribly overwhelm first years.

RAVENCLAW

  • An introverted house
  • Despite popular belief, Ravenclaws aren’t automatically the best students in the school. They will spend hours studying the things they find interesting; and will blow off actual homework in favor of this. Which is why you might find a Ravenclaw who knows obscure healing potions, but has totally awful Potions grades.
  • Ravenclaws tend to have the least amount of sports fans. Sports are fun, yes, but rather pointless in their eyes. They might turn up for the big games, but not any of the others. Their team tryouts tend to have small turnouts, but that also means the people there are only they because the geniually love the sport.
  • If you ask someone in this house to help you, they will help you until you no longer need help, with schoolwork or otherwise. But only if you ask. They will not ask if you need help, even if you appear to be struggling.
  • Ravenclaws are always running late. Always.They get sidetracked constantly.
  • Don’t really socialize outside their own house, but that’s mostly because they don’t actively seek friends out. They wait and feel out relationships, and if you become friends, great! If you’ll forever be the people who chat for five minutes before Charms, that’s fine, too.
  • It’s rare to meet a Ravenclaw who does not have a pet of some sort. Animal companionship is very important to Ravenclaws.

HUFFLEPUFFS

  • An extroverted house
  • Are a very tight-knit house, but also are the house most likely to have very good friends in other houses. They believe in loyalty, and they feeds into every relationship they have.
  • Like Hufflepuffs, they’re also perfectly willing to get physically violent, but for other people’s sake. If you’re bullying that first year, you will get a Hufflepuff up in your face.
  • Hufflepuffs are very likely to be depressed. But Hufflepuffs are also the kindest to depressed people, because they understand how being in that darkness feels.
  • They have the biggest appreciation for food. They eat partly for nourishment, but also partly for enjoyment, and tend to only eat truly good food, although they do have their guilty pleasures.
  • Their rooms tend to be cluttered and overfull, because they have an emotional connection to everything they have. They don’t keep things just to keep things. And even though their rooms are cluttered, they know exactly where to find everything.
  • Fair play is held at utmost importance. They will follow the rules, because they believe it’s horribly unfair for them to have an advantage above everyone else.

Slytherin

  • An introverted house
  • Typically get the highest grades off all the houses, because a lot of ambitions can’t be fulfilled if you got horrible grades in school.
  • Slytherins are most likely to have anxiety. This is, for the most part, suffered through silently, although if you have a panic attack in front of a fellow Slytherin, you can bet that you’ll have someone to talk you through it.
  • Much like Ravenclaws, Slytherins take comfort in books. Unlike with Ravenclaws, who prefer nonfiction, Slytherins love fiction.
  • Slytherins need everything to be neat and clean and have everything in it’s place. And don’t think of ever moving a Slytherin’s things without first.
  • Although Slytherin is known for churning out some of the darkest wizards, it has also churned out some of the most beloved and beneficial. Slytherins have cured diseases and saved species and helped many, many people because of where they channeled their ambition into.
  • A Slytherin believes in tradition and will argue passionatly for it, but they will also turn against it if it harms their friends.

INTERHOUSE FRIENDSHIPS & HOW THEY COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD

  • Ravenclaw and Slytherin best friends could take over the world quite easily. The Ravenclaw would be the mastermind behind the takeover, and the Slytherin would be the one who gained all the followers. They would rule for a few years, then be taken down by the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.
  • A Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor could take over the world, but mostly by accident. The Gryffindor wanted to do something stupid, the Ravenclaw was reluctantly pulled along, and, whoops, we’re in the throne room and NO GRYFFINDOR STOP and I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO THAT and suddenly the Ravenclaw is on the throne and has no idea how they got there. The Gryffindor is quite pleased and pretends they intended this all along, even though they have no idea how it happened, either.
  • A Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff won’t take over the world. A Ravenclaw would make the plans to take over the world, but the Hufflepuff would sigh and point out something fair simpler and just as satisfying that won’t possibly end up with them in prison, like starting a crazy successful business and becoming rich.
  • A Slytherin and a Gryffindor wouldn’t take over the world. They would get as far as the throne room then spend the entire time arguing about who deserves the throne and who gets to be second in command.
  • The Gryffindor charges in and distracts the Slytherin and Gryffindor while the Hufflepuff slips around the edge quietly and ends up on the throne.
  • The Slytherin and the Hufflepuff do end up taking over the world, through a needlessly complex plan on the Slytherin’s part, and the Hufflepuff cutting a couple of needless corners and never breaking the law while they do it.

 

Happy Friday,

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