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How to Start a Rebellion: A Practical Guide

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This is the third in the series of Practical Guides, and in the series there is already How to Survive a Horror Novel: A Practical Guide, and How to Become The Main Character of a Romance Novel: A Practical Guide. This guide will instruct you on how to start your very own rebellion.

  • Be sixteen years old. Fifteen is too young to be the start of the rebellion, it is a tender age that would not be able to withstand the pressure. Seventeen is much too old: those who are seventeen are adults, and their almost-deaths will not effect the people in the same way.
  • Pick up a highly deadly skill that is A) illegal, B) someone only you and maybe one other person can do. Example: shooting (guns or arrows), fighting (sword or fist), or perhaps even magic.

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  • It is highly helpful if you are an orphan. Especially if you are an orphan thanks to the cruel laws of your dystopian government. It is EVEN MORE helpful if you are an orphan and you watched your parents die in front of you.
  • Have two people be in love with you and not being able to choose between them. So-and-so has been your best friend for years and suddenly professed a deep and burning love. But there is also other-so-and-so who is new and fell in love with you the moment they saw you.
  • You don’t know where you belong? No problem! Your government will sort you into your special group on the day of your sixteenth birthday, where you will spend the rest of your life with people like you and NEVER SEE YOUR FAMILY AGAIN because they are in a different group and the groups DO NOT MIX. EVER.

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  • You realize that everything IS NOT FAIR NO!
  • You speak out. You get thrown in jail/sentenced for execution/brainwashed for daring to speak out. You manage to escape, taking one/two/three/twenty of your friends with you. And also your adorable younger sibling who manages to stay light hearted despite the horrible conditions.
  • Join a group of rebels. Become the face of the rebellion, and broadcast your face around what USED TO BE the United States but is now called something totally different.
  • Nearly die because you did something stupid. Have people save you and they die instead. Mourn them for one chapter then never mention them again.
  • Kill the cruel leader of your society/blow up everything/set everything on fire. Retire to peaceful farmland where you decidedly do not suffer from PTSD despite that anyone else would have.

Congradulations! You have started a rebellion.

Happy Sunday,

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